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Gladness for Madness posted on 03/16/2009

Everyone’s a college basketball fanatic today.

Without any basketball knowledge, my mom is filling out a bracket, and even though she helped put my sister and I through Ohio State, and the Buckeyes’ opening-round game is in our hometown of Dayton, Ohio on Friday, she’s actually picking Siena because she likes Crayola crayons.

My Dad is taking the Utah Utes to the Sweet 16 because he loves “My Cousin Vinny.”  Did you say Ute?

In between Mah Jongg games my grandma is also filling out a bracket.  Grandma, who can make serious money from spinning Dreidel, taught me blackjack as a wee lad in between episodes of He-Man, so I trust her gaming instincts.  However, she’s taking Tennessee to the Final Four because head coach Bruce Pearl is a nice Jewish boy, and she’s willing to forgive him for the heinous orange blazer.  I’m not.

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T.O. Be Or Not T.O. Be? posted on 03/05/2009

How do you do it, Terrell Owens?

How do you get booted off a team that hasn’t won a playoff game since 1996?

How do you get cut from the team that gave Adam “Pacman” Jones another chance to screw up?

How do you get ousted from a team whose main focus seems to be reality shows?  One show, set to air on Spike this spring, will feature 12 athletes fighting for the Cowboys’ last training camp spot.  Another show, which airs on CMT (the network that makes Larry the Cable Guy look like Laurence Olivier), revolves around the Cowboys’ cheerleaders.  Wow!

It isn’t job performance.  In his three years with the Cowboys, Owens caught 38 touchdowns while putting up a robust 3,587 receiving yards. 

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Oh, The Times They Aren’t A - Changin’ posted on 02/19/2009

In the interest of Black History Month, Tiger Woods is teaching us all a lesson.

The lesson?  Golf stinks without him.  Sorry Fuzzy Zoeller, but it’s true.

If you’re a sports fan like me, you’ll watch just about any game or event if it’s on TV.  I watch as much sports as my girlfriend can stomach, and since I’ve been known to occasionally watch bowling on Sunday, she can be pretty tolerant.

In fact, when the NFL doesn’t rule our Sundays, my favorite thing to watch on TV is golf.  There is no greater stress relief then kicking back in your recliner with a Reuben and a cold glass of iced tea and watching the final round of any tournament that’s on.  I started watching golf years ago in high school.  I’d get too stressed about Monday to enjoy my Sunday, so I found watching golf to be a very soothing Sunday activity.

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Pacman, What Color Is Your Parachute? posted on 02/09/2009

In his address to the nation Monday night, President Barack Obama spoke about the plan to stimulate the U.S. economy, which some experts say is at its worst since the Great Depression.  Although, if I had my choice, I’d rather live through the Depression as described in John Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Wrath” than be part of the current period that spawned “The Hills” and the Jonas Brothers. 

According to President Obama, the stimulus package on the table would extend unemployment benefits and provide job training so that we may put a dent in the alarming unemployment rate, which currently stands at 7.6 percent.

Coming to a cubicle near you, it’s Adam “Pacman” Jones!

On Monday, the Dallas Cowboys finally came to their senses and officially parted ways with their loose-cannon cornerback.  Yes, I used Dallas Cowboys and “senses” in the same phrase.  I’m shocked, too, I actually heard my fingers gag as I typed that statement.  This is the same Cowboys franchise that is going to use a Michael Irvin-hosted reality show to fill their 80th and final training camp spot this year. 

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Puff, Puff, Let It Pass posted on 02/03/2009

Everyone reading this entry has done something in their past they are not proud of, and I mean each and every one of you.

Whether you stole a pack of gum from a convenience store or hit a parked car without leaving a note, you felt guilty the next day.  But you learned from your mistakes, and hopefully you earned the forgiveness of those you hurt.

So many of the people we honor and respect on a daily basis have done stupid and terrible things in their past, but it seems we’re willing to turn a blind eye to it as long as they’re in the warmth of the limelight.  We have granted passes to presidents, actors, musicians, athletes, writers, etc.  

It’s a fact that Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards has smoked or snorted anything and everything that could alter his mind, including his father’s ashes, and he is still a worldwide treasure.  Before the Super Bowl, reporters seemed to forget about the restraining order against Arizona Cardinals star wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald for alleged abuse against a former girlfriend.  And how many photographers does Sean Penn need to assault before he serves any significant punishment?

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